How to do exposure exercises on your own: 9 rules for practising alone

A single small blue tile at the foot of a short stair of grey tiles, with a thin grey path leading to it from the left

You can do exposure exercises on your own by picking one small step you would rate about 3 out of 10, deciding before you start how long you will stay and what would count as done, rating your fear 0 to 10 before and after, and repeating that same step on different days until it feels dull. The rules that matter most when you are alone are the ones a professional would normally handle for you: choosing where to start, keeping it honest, and having a plan for a bad day. And some situations should not be practised alone at all, which we cover at the end.

What we found

The NHS page on phobias, last reviewed in March 2026, has a list of "things you can do to help a phobia". It includes breathing exercises, talking to someone you trust, joining a self-help group, being careful about triggering images online, and checking whether zoos and airlines run sessions. It does not include practising facing the fear in planned steps. That part sits under its talking services, which you can refer yourself to directly.

So if you do exposure on your own, you are doing the part someone else would usually plan with you. Nobody picks your first step, nobody notices when you quietly skip the hard bit, and nobody tells you to slow down. Each rule below replaces one of those jobs.

Rule 1: One fear, written as a prediction

Pick one fear. Not three. Then write down what you think will happen if you face it, in a sentence that could turn out to be wrong.

"I'm anxious about phone calls" cannot be tested. "If I ring the GP surgery, I'll freeze and have to hang up" can.

Rule 2: Start with a step you can repeat this week

A good first step for practising alone has four things going for it:

You would rate it about a 3 out of 10. Low enough that you will do it. High enough that you feel something.
You can do it often. Daily is better than monthly. A step you can only do once a year is a goal, not a first step.
It does not depend on anyone else agreeing. You do not want a cancelled plan to become a reason to stop.
It costs little or nothing.

For phone calls, ringing a shop to ask its opening hours ticks all four. For a fear of flying, booking a flight does not, but watching planes land at an airport viewing area might.

Rule 3: Decide the rules before you start, and write them down

Write three things before every attempt:

The step. Exactly what you will do.
The time. When, and for how long.
What counts as done. For example: "I ask my question and wait for the answer, even if I stumble."

The reason is simple. When you are alone, any decision you make in the moment is made by the fear. A decision made at the kitchen table an hour earlier is made by you.

At the kitchen table

Before

The step: exactly what you will do
The time: when, and for how long
Done means: ...
Safety behaviour to drop: one
Fear now: 0 to 10

Out there

During

Stick to what you wrote
Stay until the prediction is tested
No texting for reassurance

Straight after

After

Fear now: 0 to 10
Done, partly, or not?
Did the prediction happen?
Next time: same step, or the one below

When you practise alone, the decisions are made before you start, not in the moment.

Rule 4: Rate it, and log every attempt

Use a 0 to 10 scale, where 0 is no fear and 10 is the worst you can imagine. Rate just before, and again just after. If you like, note the peak too.

Log every attempt, including the ones where you backed out halfway. A half-done step is information, not a failure, and if you only log the good days you lose the most useful data.

Date	Step	Before (0 to 10)	After (0 to 10)	Done, partly, or not?	Did the prediction happen?

Rule 5: Stay long enough to test your prediction

Older advice says stay until your fear halves. A 2014 paper by Michelle Craske and colleagues argues that the learning comes from finding out that what you expected did not happen, and it lists ways to strengthen that, including dropping safety signals, varying the practice and practising in more than one place.

On your own, that gives you a plain rule: stay until you have properly tested what you wrote in Rule 1. If you predicted you would hang up, stay on the call until it ends. If you predicted you would have to leave the lift, stay in it to the floor you chose.

Some steps are short by nature. A lift ride is a minute. Then do it several times in a row rather than looking for a longer version, and do it in a different lift next time.

Rule 6: Find your safety behaviours, and drop one at a time

Safety behaviours are the small things you do so a step feels survivable. When you are alone they are easy to hide, because nobody else sees them. Common ones:

Texting someone during the step, or right before it, for reassurance
Looking things up online to check you are safe
Having your exit planned, or standing by the door
Headphones in, or staring at your phone
Scripting every word of a call
Doing the step only at the quietest possible time

Pick one to drop on your next attempt. Not all of them. Write it in your Rule 3 note.

Rule 7: Repeat before you move up

Do the same step again on another day. Move up when your before rating has dropped a few points and the step feels more boring than frightening. Never skip more than one step at a time, even when you feel brave. A big jump that goes badly on your own can put you off the whole ladder.

Rule 8: Have a bad day plan

Some days a step you managed last week feels like an 8. Decide now what you will do then, so you do not have to decide in the moment:

Do the step below instead, and log it.
Or do a shorter version of today's step, and log it as partly done.
Do not wait for a good day. The next attempt is the step below, tomorrow.
If every step feels too much for several days running, stop and talk to someone (see below). That is not a failure of willpower. It is information.

Rule 9: Use other people afterwards, not during

Telling someone what you did after you did it is fine, and it helps you keep going. Asking them during, or calling them for reassurance, turns them into a safety behaviour. A friend standing next to you is a lever you can use on the first steps, but plan the step where they are not there.

When not to do it on your own

Get help before you start, or alongside, if any of these apply:

You have fainted or nearly fainted at blood, needles or injury. Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust explains that in some people with needle phobia, heart rate and blood pressure rise and then "rapidly drop". Speak to your GP first.
You have a heart or breathing condition and the fear brings on strong physical reactions.
The fear has spread so that you avoid leaving the house, eating normally, or large parts of daily life.
It is tied to something traumatic that happened to you.
It is about intrusive thoughts or rituals you feel you must do. Practice built on the wrong plan can feed those, so get a professional view first.
You feel hopeless or have thoughts of harming yourself. Call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time, or 999 if you are in danger.

The NHS says to see a GP if you think you have a phobia and it is affecting your life, and that you can refer yourself directly to its talking services without a GP referral.

If you want the plan made for you

Conquer Fear, our app, takes on the jobs in Rules 2 and 4. You name a goal and the fear in the way of it, and it writes a ladder of small real-world steps for that exact fear. It shows you one step at a time, asks for a 0 to 10 rating before and after each attempt, and logs it as completed, partial or not completed, so the attempts where you backed out still count. If a step is too big, you can tap "Make it smaller" on it. There is a help chat for when you are stuck. If phone calls are your fear, here is a ladder written out step by step on our fear of phone calls page.

The free tier gives you one ladder, its first three steps, 20 logged attempts and three help chats. Premium is £9.99 a month, or £49.99 a year with a 7 day free trial on the annual plan. Premium + Coaching adds accountability calls with a real person, for £49.99 a month at the founding price (standard £149.99), which is the closest thing in the app to someone checking in on you. It is on the App Store for iPhone only.

Where it is not the right choice: it is not on Android and needs a connection. It does not teach breathing, relaxation or any physical technique, including the tensing technique for fainting. It does not set a pace towards a date. And if a notebook and the tables above work for you, they cost nothing.

Sources

All checked 25 October 2026.

NHS, Phobias ("things you can do", when to see a GP, self-referral), page last reviewed 11 March 2026: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/phobias/
Craske MG, Treanor M, Conway CC, Zbozinek T, Vervliet B (2014), an inhibitory learning approach to exposure, Behav Res Ther 58, 10 to 23: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006 (abstract read via PubMed, PMID 24864005)
Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust, Needle phobia and overcoming your fear (last reviewed May 2024): https://guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/health-information/needle-phobia-and-overcoming-your-fear
Samaritans, contact page: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Conquer Fear is a self-help tool inspired by exposure principles. It isn't therapy or medical care, and it is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. If fear or anxiety is affecting your daily life, check with your GP or a qualified professional.